It's been too long since I last posted.
I've been busy - with the children, with the house, with being outside enjoying the sunshine.
Pleased to say that my head hasn't been busy in the same dark way it'd been buzzing in the months since Lydia was born. I sort of feel like I've come through the dark tunnel and am clawing my way out into the light. She's 9 months old now, and these months and the 9 months of pregnancy have been probably the worst 18 months of our marriage.
I'm returning back to the normal (snigger) Tracie. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size which was something I'd been very worried about. I have a bit of a fear of being fat, so I'm very thankful. Another reason to celebrate breastfeeding! I've done almost zero exercise, but Lydia breastfeeds around 10 times a day still so that burns calories.... also picking her up every 2 minutes is also a good workout as she weighs over 10kg.
I've dyed my hair, which is always a sign that my head is ticking over nicely. Is a fetching shade of electric blue/violet... photos to follow in future posts.
One big lightbulb moment was when I made more effort to do quiet time and pray more. I'd been feeling like hiding from God, just running around trying to solve everything I struggled with on my own. There's a good phrase which tells us that men's ways lead to a hopeless end, but God's way leads to an endless hope. That is true for me and I'm glad I was faithful and picked up my Bible again after too long of an absence.